


Seven Days of Lonely

by QuietREBelGirlWithVoDKa



Series: Justin Gabriel is Not a Pussy 'Verse [3]
Category: World Wrestling Entertainment
Genre: Broken hearted boys, Family Drama, Forced Out of the Closet, M/M, Overdramatic boys, Past Relationships, fears of homophobia
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-30
Updated: 2017-12-30
Packaged: 2019-02-24 00:27:49
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,497
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13201794
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/QuietREBelGirlWithVoDKa/pseuds/QuietREBelGirlWithVoDKa
Summary: John's brother finds things out, Justin finds things out, and John, well, John kind of feels like an asshole. Part of the Not a Pussy 'Verse.  Originally posted 12/23/2010.





	Seven Days of Lonely

**Author's Note:**

> Title: Seven Days of Lonely
> 
> Rating: M for Sexual connotations and launguage
> 
> Pairing: Justin Gabriel/John Cena, (Past John Cena/Randy Orton)
> 
> Summary: John's brother finds things out, Justin finds things out, and John, well, John kind of feels like an asshole. Part of the Not a Pussy 'verse.
> 
> Disclaimer: I don't own shit.
> 
> Author's Note: Cross-Posted on fanfiction. Originally posted 12/23/2010. Okay, so, this actually takes place not long before Tables, Ladders, and Chairs 2010. So, while this is the next part I have written, it's not the next piece chronologically. There'll be more added in between here at some point. Probably. Hopefully. EITHER WAY! Hope you enjoy. :)

They've been dating for about five months when it finally happens. And really, John figures, it had to happen eventually.

They're lying on the couch in John's apartment, Justin spread out lazily over him as they make out contentedly. The TV's playing behind them, but neither of them pay it any mind. Suddenly, the front door swings open and a man who looks a lot like John, but slightly older and not as muscular, steps in.

"What's up, Johnny boy?" the man calls out. "Come give your brother a-whoa."

"Shit, Dan!" John exclaims.

Justin leaps up, his eyes wide and guilty. John tries to do the same, but positions himself wrong and falls off the couch completely, sprawling in the floor. Justin immediately kneels down, checking on his lover before helping him stand. John looks at his brother sheephisly, a hot flush spreading across the back of his neck. He fidgets in place for a moment, looking over at Justin. Justin's looking at the floor. John feels like shit. He turns back to Dan.

"So, uh." he begins, unsure really of how to word things. "This is pretty much exactly what it looks like."

He feels Justin's shocked look rather than seeing it. He doesn't break eye contact with Dan as he reaches over and, shakily, grabs Justin's hand. Dan probably sees it as a gesture of commitment, a ballsy move. Truth is, John kind of needs Justin to stand up right about now. He feels Justin squeeze his hand lightly, and suddenly, he can breathe a little easier.

"I kind of figured." Dan says softly.

The older Cena sets his bags on the ground and crosses his arms over his chest.

"How long?" he inquires of his younger brother.

"About four months." the Superstar says after a beat, barely keeping his voice steady.

Dan is silent. John averts his gaze momentarily. He looks at the floor for a moment, then at Justin, nudging the younger slightly. When the younger meets his gaze, he motions to the bedroom. He wants to give his lover an escape. He should be here for all this. Justin nods slowly and retreats, closing the door behind him. John takes a deep breath and turns back to Dan, offering a smile.

"You want a beer? Because I think we need to talk." John suggests. He knows he sure as fuck needs one.

"Absolutely, because I get the feeling we have a lot to talk about." Dan agrees.

John nods and hurries into the kitchen. He stops and leans against the counter, taking a few deep breaths. He's not entirely sure how this is going to go. Finally, he pushes off and turns to get the beers. All he can really do is hope for the best. This is his brother, after all. How hard could it be?

 

**III**

 

John's never had a difficult time talking to his brother, and this is no exception.

"His name is Paul Lloyd, Jr. He wrestlers under Justin Gabriel. Everyone calls him Justin. He's 29, from South Africa. His dad died when he was a senior in high school. It's still a touchy subject. He's an up and comer in the WWE, and I care more about him than I have anyone else in my life." John spills.

Dan's quiet for a few minutes. He takes a few long sips of his beer every now and again. Finally, he looks right at John from his spot on the loveseat opposite where John sits on the couch.

"You saying you love this kid?" he asks.

John gulps down a swallow of beer. _Now or never_ , he thinks.

"Yea, Dan. I really do." he manages.

His brother seems to ponder this for a minute before he stands, setting his beer down in front of the loveseat before walking over to stand in front of John. He reaches out and pats his younger brother on the shoulder.

"Well then, congratulations." Dan says, sincerity in his tone.

John startles, looking up at his older brother, dumbfounded.

"Seriously?" John wonders aloud, still awestruck.

"Seriously, man. That's awesome that you found someone you can care about that much." Dan responds, heading towards the kitchen for another drink. "At least, if he loves you the same."

The Superstar stands and follows the older, still shaking slightly. He can't believe this is going so well.

"I think he does, Dan. I really do." John leans against the counter, taking another swig of his drink. "It's just been going so incredibly well so far. I just see it going uphill from here."

Dan pops the top off another beer and takes a sip. John is visibly more relaxed. He's so relieved he almost can't stand upright. He'd been so nervous, and now he can't figure out why he ever was.

"You look relieved." Dan comments eventually.

John jumps at the unexpected voice. He lets out a laugh.

"I actually am, man. You have no idea." John answers, setting his now empty bottle on the counter. "I was so nervous."

"What, did you think I was gonna try and kick your ass, Johnny?" the older inquires with a smirk.

"Honestly?" the younger says, crossing his arms over his chest. "Yea. I wasn't entirely sure how you would react, but I didn't think it'd go well. I'm glad it did, though."

"Of course it did, John." Dan says, crossing the room to set a hand on his younger brother's shoulder. "You're my brother. No matter who you're with."

John smiles widely. He's so relaxed now. There's just one more thing he has to ask.

"Hey, can you do me a favor, though?" he requests.

"What's that?"

"Can you not tell the rest of the family?" John asks seriously.

The voice behind him makes them both jump.

"John?"

The brothers turn to face the entrance to the kitchen. The look on Justin's face makes John's heart ache.

 _What have I done?_ he thinks.

 

**XXXXX**

 

Meanwhile, Justin paces back and forth in John's bedroom. He can't believe they'd been so careless. He can't believe John hadn't told him his _fucking brother had a key._ Either way, it's too late to take it back now. No, now they have to deal with it, take it as it comes. Justin can't help but be nervous, though. This is John's brother, his blood. Justin's an only child, so he has no idea what having a sibling feels like, but he can imagine how important this is to John. He feels like such a dick for potentially being the reason John's brother is pissed at him. And from back here, he has no idea how the conversation is even going. Dan could have gotten outraged and stormed out by now, for all he knows. This thought alone makes Justin panic all the more. Finally after fifteen minutes have passed, the high flyer decides he can't take it anymore and, consequences be damned, he ventures forth into the apartment. Once he hears John's voice, however, he wishes he'd had the sense to wait in the bedroom.

"Can you not tell the rest of the family?"

Justin's heart hits his feet. For a moment, he feels like he can't breathe.

 _Oh, so that's how it is._ he thinks.

He'd kind of expected it, but still, to hear it put out there in the open like that makes him nauseous. He literally feels like he's going to be sick.

"John?" he hears himself ask.

Both of them turn to him, but his focus zeroes in on John. There's an array of emotions painted on his lover's face, but the only one Justin can see is guilt. He tries to mask his hurt.

"Hey there, Justin." Dan's voice booms out right as John opens his mouth to speak. The older Cena nears him and holds out his hand in a gesture of kindness. "I think we got off on the wrong foot. I'm Dan, John's big brother."

"It's nice to meet you." Justin says, shaking his hand.

"I hear you're real important to Johnny here." Dan says, clapping the younger on the back.

"Really." Justin responds, barely disguising his anger. Dan doesn't seem to notice.

"Absolutely." the older says, grinning widely. "Oh, and John, it's no problem. You should know I can keep a secret."

"Yea. Thanks, man." John mutters almost monotonously. Justin wonders how long they've been apart that Dan can't detect the remorse that's so obvious in his brother's voice.

"To tell the truth, the boys and I have had a bet going since you first joined OVW as to how long it'd be before you brought a guy home." Dan says.

The other two gape.

"What?" the Superstar almost gasps.

Justin's in shock as well.

"Oh yea, man. If I tell them now, I owe Matt and Sean some money." the older responds. "Although, honestly, we all thought it'd be Orton."

Justin briefly wonders if he imagines the look that passes over John's face at the name. Dan's looking his brother dead in the eye, after all, and he hasn't said anything. Maybe Justin's just making things up. Either way, the younger's not sure he even wants to be in the same room as the Superstar. He exaggerates a stretch.

"Well, uh, I was just getting ready for a nap, so I'm gonna go lay down." the high flyer says. "It was nice to meet you, Dan. I'll see you later."

 

**XXXXX**

 

John watches his lover retreat back into the bedroom and immediately knows he's fucked up. Justin doesn't understand. He didn't get a chance to tell the younger that he doesn't want Dan to tell his family because he wants to do it himself, and he's already worked out how he wants to. And now there may be the issue of Randy...The Superstar has no idea what he's going to do. He takes a steadying breath and turns to his brother.

"Hey, Dan? I don't mean to be an asshole, but I kinda need to deal with this right now. I think he took some things the wrong way, and, just, I," John stammers. He's losing it. He's so scared that Justin's pissed. He _knows_ he is. "Can you maybe come back by later?"

"No problem, bro." Dan responds, throwing his beer bottle away.

John doesn't even wait until his older brother is out the door before he heads back into the bedroom. He has to fix this. He just has to. Justin's sitting on the bed with his arms crossed when John walks in. He takes a deep breath, tyring to figure out how to word his next thought.

"Justin," he starts, but Justin jumps up, glaring at him.

"'Don't tell the rest of the family'? Really, John?" the younger snaps. "I'm not your dirty little secret."

"They didn't exactly know before, either." John knows the attempt is lame even as it slips from his mouth. He feels like Justin's slipping from his grip just as fast.

 

**XXXXX**

 

"Yea, but it's not because you didn't want them to know. You've been deliberately keeping it a secret the whole time, haven't you?" Justin accuses the older.

He can't help it; he's hurt. Why wouldn't John want anyone to know? He understands it could end badly, but to hear it put like that stings. It makes him feel inadequate for some reason, and he doesn't like it.

"Baby, it's not like that." the Superstar tries.

"No, you don't get to call me that right now." Justin says, pointing his finger at John.

John looks like he's been hit, and for a moment, he almost stops and forgives the older on the spot. But suddenly, he's reminded of the look John had gotten at the mention of Randy's name. It's out of his mouth before he realizes what's happening.

"Why would they think you would bring Randy home first?"

The older stills. Justin feels like he's been punched in the gut. He wasn't imagining it at all. His mouth goes dry.

"So something _did_ happen." he mumbles. Then, louder, "You _lied_ to me."

John remains silent. Justin starts to shake.

"John, what went on between you and Randy?" he asks quietly.

John looks at the floor. Justin clenches and unclenches his fists. He's trying to keep his cool, but it's just not working.

"It's not what you think." John starts, and Justin whimpers.

The younger's knees threaten to buckle.

"No-no, Justin, seriously. It's not, we just. It wasn't anything serious." John explains.

Justin pales. His eyes fill with tears. He feels so utterly betrayed.

"You promised me. You said I was the only one." Justin says softly.

"Baby, you are." the older tries. "You don't understand-"

"No, _you_ don't understand." the high flyer spits. "You told me I was the only man you'd ever been with. You _lied_ to me, John."

 

**XXXXX**

 

"Randy's different." John tries to explain, and instantly regrets it.

Justin looks like he's going to cry. John wants to hug him, but he knows there's no way.

"I thought I was different." he hears the younger whisper. It makes him ache.

"You are different!" John exclaims, then groans. "It's just, I. I wish I knew how to explain this to you."

"What's to explain?" Justin cries out. "I even asked you, John. I asked if you'd been with Randy before, and you said no. You said he was your best friend."

"And he is! It's complicated. Yes, we did sleep together before." the Superstar finally sighs out. "But it's not as bad as you think. I know, I shouldn't have lied to you, and I'm sorry. I can explain everything. If you'd just hear me out-"

"Why should I? I trusted you. Hell, you're the only one I _can_ trust. I trusted you, and you lied to me, about something important. And on top of all of it, you're asking me to be your secret." Justin says bitterly. He looks away from John completely. "What reason have you given me to listen to you?"

"Dammit, Justin!" John snaps, reaching out and grabbing the younger by his upper arms. Justin's eyes grow wide. He gives Justin a firm shake, making sure to not be too rough, just grab his attention. "Can you shut up for a minute and listen? It's not _like_ that!"

Justin's hands shoot up to shield his face and he shrinks away a bit.

"No, stop!" he cries defensively.

John releases Justin immediately, taking a few steps back, his hands spread in front of him in submission. It's his turn to be hurt.

"Justin," he whispers. "Do you really think I'd hit you? Do you think that low of me all of a sudden?"

Justin's quiet. It's worse than an answer. The high flyer lowers his hands in front of him, clasping them together nervously. His gaze turns toward the ground.

"Justin, really?" John asks, taking a step closer. "You should know better than that. Baby, I love you. I really do. I'd never do that shit to you."

When John reaches out to touch Justin's hair and the younger flinches away the slightest bit, something in John snaps. He takes a handfull of steps backwards once again.

"If you really think that, maybe you should leave, then!" he hears himself say.

Instantly, he wants to take it back. He watches Justin's expression change and stops breathing.

"Justin, I didn't mean-"

"Maybe I should." Justin says dryly.

John watches his lover begin to make his way around the room grabbing his things that have collected over at John's apartment over the last few months.

"Baby, please-"

"John, I don't really think this is working out. I'm sorry to have caused you so much trouble."

Justin's just finished throwing everything he could find into his duffle bag. He throws it over his shoulder and approaches John. He leans up and presses a soft kiss to the older's lips, and John feels like he's going to break.

"I love you." Justin says, his voice watery. "Goodbye, John."

"Justin, wait!" John cries out, reaching for him.

But Justin's ignoring him, rushing out of the bedroom and out of the apartment entirely, shutting the door softly behind him. John collapses onto the bed, his head dropping into his hands. He takes a few shaky breaths before feeling a few tears slide down his cheeks. His breath breaks off into a sob. He's never cried over a breakup before in his life. Then again, he's never been quite this deeply in love either.

 

**XXXXX**

 

Justin knocks on Heath's door, furiously wiping tears from his eyes. The second his friend opens the door, he lets out a whimper.

"Can I stay with you for a little while?" he asks desperately.

Heath steps aside to let him in, taking his bag.

"Of course, man." the redhead says.

Justin collapses on the couch. Heath carefully sits down next to him.

"What happened?" he asks his friend.

"John and I broke up." Justin mutter helplessly.

"Are you serious?" Heath inquires, shock lacing his voice.

"Do I sound like I'm joking?" the high flyer fires back.

They're quiet for a beat, save for the sound of Justin trying his damndest not to sob.

"Why'd you two break up?" Heath finally asks nervously.

"He lied to me. We fought over it. I jumped to stupid conclusions. He told me to get out. I told him it wasn't working out. End." the South African mutters softly. His tone implies that the conversation is over.

Justin sighs miserably and sinks further into the couch. He has no idea what's going to happen from here. How is he even supposed to deal with this? He sees John almost every day. He feels sick, suddenly, and stands, rushing back to Heath's bathroom. He collapses in front of the toilet, tears filling his eyes as he heaves. Heath's by his side in an instant, a cool washcloth on the back of his neck as the redhead rubs circles across his back. All the emotion from the day is rushing out now. He's not sure how the next few days will go, but if the last few hours are any indication, he's pretty certain he won't make it.

 

**III**

 

He knows it shouldn't bug him, and it's kind of stupid considering, but Justin kind of wants to hit something every time he sees John and Randy together over the next week. And it happens _a lot_. It's to be expected, Justin figures. After all, Heath has hardly left his side, so it would make sense that John's best friend wouldn't leave his. But the fact that it's _Randy Orton_ makes it sting that much more.

Everyone knows something happened, but no one wants to say anything. Justin feels like he's walking on eggshells everywhere he goes. He hasn't mentioned anything to anyone, and from the looks of it, neither has John. He thinks it should surprise him that John hasn't told anyone but Randy, but it really doesn't. Justin would like to think he knows John at least _that_ well; he knows deep down the older would never intentionally hurt him.

Still, it feels like a slap in the face as he sees Randy and John exit the same locker room. The pain dulls, however, when he notices how absolutely miserable John looks, despite finally being back full time again. They lock eyes from across the hall, and John's brighten. He opens his mouth and moves as if he's going to address Justin. The younger feels like a coward even as he turns and walks away as if he didn't notice. He can't stand to see John's face fall. Even despite all John's done to him, he can't watch the Superstar be disappointed like that.

 

**III**

 

"Justin, you've got to eat something." Heath says in a tone that normally begs no argument.

This time, Justin just rolls his eyes.

"Jesus, Heath. I told you, I'm not hungry." Justin snaps. "What are you, my mother?"

"No, you jackass, I'm your fucking friend, and you haven't hardly eaten since you got here." Heath fires back.

Justin's kind of shocked. Heath's never blown up at him like this before. He glares back at the redhead in return, nontheless.

"I have so. I've just been eating after you go to bed." the South African replies stubbornly.

"You mean when you're not sleeping?" Heath narrows his eyes.

Justin's face colors and he hangs his head in shame, knowing he's been caught. He can't even deny it anymore. This whole mess has messed him up so badly, he hardly knows which was is up anymore.

"Justin, you two have got to talk this out. This is getting ridiculous. You won't talk to me, he won't talk to Randy. You're not eating, you're not sleeping, you're completely miserable." Heath explains delicately. "Just talk to him."

The high flyer thinks it over for a moment. He wants nothing more than to be with John again. But how can he after all of this? Either way, he's avoided the older for a week. He can do it as long as it takes.

"Why don't you mind your own business?" Justin growls, standing up from the table and trudging off into the other room.

He collapses onto the guest bed and closes his tear-stained eyes. It looks like it's going to be another long night.

 

**XXXXX**

 

John's pacing back and forth in Justin's locker room after the TLC event, just waiting for the younger to get back. Heath had called him a couple days before, worried. He'd told John that the young high flyer hadn't been eating or sleeping and now he was scared because it was starting to become noticable. John had told the redhead he wouldn't know; Justin hadn't even been within sight range in over a week. Heath had sighed and explained to John that if he wanted to talk to Justin, he'd have to corner the younger.

So, here John was. He knows he looks desperate, stalking around Justin's things like this, but he can't bring himself to care. Once he'd seen the high flyer come out for the tag team match, it was no longer a choice to _not_ talk to the boy. He didn't want to say Justin looked bad, because he never looked BAD. But he certainly looked worse for wear. His hair was down and unstyled, the beard he'd been growing in unruly. John can tell Justin's lost weight. It scares him.

The door in front of John opens slowly, and Justin almost stumbles in. The second the younger's gaze lands on John, he tries to flee, but John's hand shoots out and grabs him by the arm, dragging him back into the room.

"Oh, no, you don't." John says sternly. "We need to talk."

Justin struggles against his grasp for the first time, and it makes his heart ache. He reaches around the younger and shuts the door, flicking the lock. Justin huffs out an angry sigh.

"I don't want to fucking talk to you!" he snaps, pulling at John again.

John looks hurt. The younger has never fought him like this; it stings.

"Justin please! Just let me explain!" John tries, trying to drag Justin back to him. Even this close, the South African feels weak in his grasp.

"No!" Justin yells, trying to bat John's arm away. Instead, the back of his hand accidentally catches the Superstar in the face.

John releases the younger immediately, and Justin loses his balance, collapsing to the floor. As the older instinctively checks to make sure his lip's not bleeding, he watching as Justin struggles to get off the floor. It looks like he's selling a bump in the ring, but this time, it's completely real. It's actually that difficult for the boy to get up from an ordinary loss of balance. It makes John ache.

"Baby, this has got to stop. We really need to talk. Look at you, you can hardly stand!" John attempts.

Justin glares at him as dangerously as he can. John almost backs down.

"I'm not as weak as you think I am." the younger growls.

"I know that, Justin! Not normally! But, fuck, look at yourself!" John fires back.

"I'm _fine, John_." Justin bites out, practically leaning on the door. "No thanks to you."

"You're not. You're not, and you know it." John says almost tenderly. "Why won't you just hear me out?"

Justin snaps.

"Because, John! Because I already trusted you! I trusted you more than anyone else and you lied to me! And not even about something stupid, but about something that _mattered, John_!" Justin practically screams. "Because I love you, but you want to keep us a fucking secret! From your _family_! It hurts, John, it hurts too much, I just...I, just...I..."

John watches in horror as Justin's eyes roll back and he crumples to the ground. He barely catches the younger before he hits the concrete. From there, everything is a big blur, except the split second after John lifts Justin, where the older truly _feels_ just how light the high flyer has gotten. It makes him hurt, but pushes him that much harder to just _find_ someone and get help.

 

**III**

 

John smiles as he watches Justin's eyes blink open. He'd been so scared when the other had collapsed like that. He rushed around backstage in a panic until someone had finally been able to direct him to the EMT. They'd looked Justin over and declared he was simply unrested and malnourished ( _like I didn't fucking know that_ , John thinks), and the overexcitement had raised his blood pressure and heart rate too much. They'd hooked him up to an IV, laid him down to rest. John hadn't left his side the entire time, waiting patiently for the younger to re-awaken. They were having this conversation whether he liked it or not.

The second Justin's eyes catch John, he moves to get up.

"I don't think so." John says, putting a hand on the high flyer's chest and pushing him back down.

Justin glares, but he can't exactly fight back, so he relents, huffs out a sigh.

"What the fuck do you _want_?" he snaps.

"To _talk_ to you, Justin." John sighs back in return, standing up to lean on his arms on the side of the bed.

The South African is silent for a few minutes, decidedly not looking at John. The older waits patiently for once, just watching. Justin seems to be struggling with himself, biting slightly at his lower lip. His eyes are wet. John finally speaks.

"Justin, I'm sorry. I never meant to hurt you, and I'm so, so sorry. But you have to let me explain." he says quietly.

"Do I really have a choice?" Justin asks with a glare.

John smiles nervously at him. "No, I guess not."

"Well, go ahead, then." the younger bites out.

The Superstar is quiet for a moment, rolling words around in his head as he tries to figure out exactly how to word it. Eventually, he just blurts it out.

"Randy and I used to have sex."

The statement hangs in the air for a moment. John watches Justin carefully, trying to gauge his reaction. The high flyer just sits silently, still not daring to look at John.

"It was...it wasn't a relationship. And I never...I was always on top. You are the first, and the only, on both of those counts. It was a purely physical thing, just stress relief and experimenting. But it did happen, and I did hide it. I shouldn't have lied to you, and for that, I'm sorry." John says as sincerely as he can.

Justin turns slowly and looks at him. John's wearing the most remorseful look. He shakes a bit under the younger's gaze. He doesn't think anyone has ever made him this nervous before in his life. He wonders if Justin can tell.

"He never topped you?" the younger whispers, disrupting his thoughts.

John colors.

"You are the _only one_." John repeats lowly, firmly.

Justin nods slowly. John reaches out and closes a large hand around one of Justin's.

"Then why the secrecy?" Justin asks. "If you care that much, why keep it hidden?"

"You didn't let me explain." John says defensively. "Any of it. You just kind of took what I said and ran with it."

It's the high flyer's turn to lower his gaze. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have done that. I was just angry."

"I know. But you didn't give me a chance to tell you." John sits up a bit straighter, looking into Justin's eyes. "I didn't want Dan to tell everyone yet because I want you to come home with me for Christmas. I don't want them to hear it from them because I want them to hear it from me. And I want them to meet you."

John watches the younger's eyes widen in shock and can't mask his grin. He'd been so excited about his plan. This hadn't exactly been how he'd wanted to tell Justin, but he figures it'll have to do.

"Are...Are you serious?" Justin barely breathes.

John nods excitedly. Justin turns away and sniffs. The Superstar lets out a laugh.

"Let me make things up to you, baby. Take me back." John pleads.

Justin's silent for a moment, once again. Still not looking at John, he whispers, "I never thought you would hurt me. Not once."

John's confused. "Then why did you leave?"

"Because, John. I'm not going to be _anybody's_ dirty secret. It felt like you were ashamed of me all of a sudden. I'm not someone to be ashamed of." Justin mumbles.

John stares at him in shock. The little shit...He barks out a laugh. It's Justin's turn to stare at the older in shock, whipping his head around to face him.

"What's so funny?" the younger asks indignantly.

"Even in this, you have to prove you're not weak." John responds, still laughing.

Justin kind of grins, but blushes. He looks relieved. "Well, uh. I'm not a pussy."

"Yea, yea. We all know you're not a pussy, and you won't let anyone take advantage of you, even me. But next time, can we find a way to prove it that's a little less harmful to both of us?" John asks with a soft smile.

"Both of us?"

"Justin, are you kidding me? I've been going fucking crazy over here! You wouldn't talk to me, wouldn't answer my calls. I didn't even see you in the locker room. The only time I saw you was on the TV in my locker room. That hurt." John explains softly.

He watches Justin's expression soften.

"I wasn't sleeping, either. I didn't know what was going to happen, I just knew I didn't want to be without you." he continues. "I need you, baby. I love you. And I want to show my parents that. At Christmas."

Justin starts to grin. John leans in until they're almost breathing the same air.

"Take me back, so I can take you home." John whispers.

When Justin nods, John closes the gap, pressing their lips together softly. Justin breathes in, kissing John harder, deeper. The younger reaches up and rests a hand on the side of John's face, pulling him in closer. John doesn't realize he's crying until Justin pulls back, his hands wet. He gazes at the older with a look of concern. John reaches up and touches a hand to his own face, feeling the wetness in shock. He closes his eyes to combat the tears, but to no avail. They just keep coming. He's so relieved, so happy. He'd been terrified that Justin wasn't going to ever speak to him again. John didn't know what he'd do if he lost the younger. Being without him this week had made it hard to breathe, especially being able to watch him from a distance and know that Justin wasn't his. He's sure he's never cared about anyone this much in his life. Part of it scares him, the other part makes him that much mire confident that no matter how this meeting with his family goes, he can take it, as long as he has Justin there.

Justin's arms are wrapped around his shoulders as he cries into one of the younger's. The high flyer presses soft kisses to John's shoulder and neck, along with quiet reassurances.

"I'm so sorry. I love you, John, so much. I won't ever leave again. You mean everything to me."

The mantra makes John tug Justin ever closer. He's more certain now than ever that, whatever it takes, he will keep Justin in his life. Love doesn't quite cover it. Justin is his entire world. And he is _not_ a pussy, he thinks with a grin, tears beginning to clear up finally. He knows one thing's for sure. He can't wait until Christmas.


End file.
